Madsxgoodxbad

The World Spins out of Control.

May 13, 2008 at 9:18 pm (Uncategorized)

Since my last post i have been on a roller coaster of life.  May 1st started out well enough, my case got stet docketed, which means i just have to stay off the dubie for the next three years (or at least not get caught).  That’s a plus, no fine, nothing, just put on a shelf.  It wasnt until the ride home from the court house that my life took a turn for the worse.  

I’ve been dating this guy (we’ll call him J) for a while now.  It’s hard to pin point the exact day we started ‘dating’ but we’ve been having sex since the first week of September, and he told me he loved me sometime in November.  Well, on the drive home from the court house, J decided to tell me he cheated on me.  Not only did he cheat on me once, he slept with this girl three times.  It wasnt just any girl, either, it was his childhood friend’s fiance.  I felt like i was on Jerry Springer.  It took all the womanly strength i could muster not to strangle him driving down the road.  Well, anyway.  That night we had a talk, I mean, I love J. I would do anything for him, and that is why i told him I wanted to stay with him.  It was hard for me at first, sleeping in the bed next to him, our bed that we shared every week on my weekend visits, knowing that he fucked that whore right there, where i lay my head.  I didn’t want to lose him.  At first he pulled the “lets just be friends” line, i’m not at ALL the kind of girl who will accept that.  I told him point blank, either we’re in this relationship full force, or we’re not in it at all and you lose me and everything we have.  He didn’t like that idea.  I told him i didnt want to force him or guilt trip him into staying with me, and he agreed.  so, two days later, there he was, sobbing as he sat next to me, begging for me to take him back, pleading with me to give him a chance to regain my trust.  He said he didnt realize what he had done and how much he stood to lose until he saw the tears in my eyes and heard the anger in my voice.  

I took him back.  I know it may seem foolish, but as i said, I love him.

The week went by and we had our tiffs about this or that, but the sex was still amazing.  I dont think i’ve ever had such passion filled sex as with a man with a guilty conscience.  I didn’t have to do anything!! it was amazing! 

As the week went on, J was wrapped around my little finger, i had total control of our lives together.  Then i recieved a message from the friend (B) [the one who had also been cheated on].  We started talking, and since i’m a very friendly person, our conversations could have been considered flirtatious.  I did not think so, the fiance, however, did.  Apparently B and the whore decided to stay together, and on friday the whore decided to read my messages to B and blow them out of proportion.  Apparently my textmessages to B saying i couldnt sleep because my bed was so uncomfortable was me telling him i wanted to fuck him.  Or at least that’s what the whore told J (teenage drama much???)  

J came back to me on friday evening, enraged, he screamed at me telling me to get out and to have a good weekend alone, this and that, telling me all of these things that the whore told him i had said to B.  I was taken aback.  I left.  I called B to ask him what was going on, what he or his whore had said to J to make this happen.  B said he would tell J the truth, and tell him that it didn’t happen the way the whore said it did.  Well, he lied to me and told J that i was hitting on him and just down right coming onto him.  This caused all sorts of controversy.  Long long long story short, saturday (the 10th) J and i ended up getting together to talk about this in person.

we worked things out, he apologized for not believing the one person he loved and letting someone as sleezy as the whore and B try to ruin a good thing.  So i’m still angry, but i am willing to let it go.

I think we both agree that the sex is too good to give up. ha ha.

So, we had make up sex.  He’s been really adventurous lately, and i think it’s because i’ve exposed my kinky side to him (i suggested a threesome, and found a willing partner [my ex, R])  He went exploring.  For the first time we tried anal.  I mean, i’ve tried it before, but it was with someone with a much MUCH smaller dick.  

I couldnt help but remember the story by Tucker Max where he had anal with a girl but drunkenly used too much astroglide. Hilarity did NOT ensue in that story. i was tense, afraid the same thing would happen to me (tho i know it really wouldnt).  So i couldn’t relax, plus he was HUGE and didnt understand the words  ’slow’ or ‘ouch’ or ‘ok, far enough’.  Tho i will say, after a little while i did relax and i loved it, and i loved the look on his face.  He was above me, being all manly and dominant.  I was in heaven.  I never came, but that’s ok, it was a first time with him, and while it lasted a long time, it would have had to go on for ages longer to get me anywhere close.

So now i’m back, hopefully blogging more regularly, and since i missed the last HNT i’ll send leave you with the one i was going to post last week, of course with identifying tattoos obviously removed.